The essence of effective sexual communication is a dialogue that ends in empathy. One partner has assertively stated his or her reality, and the other partner has been able to walk in his or her shoes to understand and acknowledge that reality This what empathy is all about—understanding. It it not agreeing，but rather hearing and acknowledging another reality that often differs from our own.
Many loving couples never talk about sex together. This is sad, because effective communication is at the heart of falling deeper in love and creating a truly passionate marriage.
It isn't easy to create a comfortable sexual vocabulary or develop the ability to dialogue about lovemaking. Perhaps sex was never talked about in your growing-up experiences. Sexual discussions are indeed difficult as they can get into unmet needs and constructive criticism, problem solving with no easy answers, and very private feelings. This is messy to deal with— especially for those who want to be perfect lovers or thought sex would automatically fall into place—and is easier to just avoid.
Lack of sexual communication can be disabling, though. It prevents couples from making needed adjustment for greater pleasure, it robs them of a great aphrodisiac because talking is very sexy, and it blocks them from sharing fantasies and creating erotic, romantic evenings. For many marriages, it is not just sexual talk but communication in general that suffers. Mates often have acute skill deficits in resolving conflict and negotiating tentative solutions.
You will also discover that effective sexual communication brings many fun spillovers into your sex life. The more you talk and feel close, the more you will want to make love. The more you talk about sex and your love life, the more satisfying your lovemaking will become. Dialogue is also basic in resolving sexual conflicts.
Comment